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For Sam Querrey

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  • For Sam Querrey

    You did, as you say, rise through the rankings very fast, which suggests that you didn't have time to fully develop. Besides that, people have said you should paste thimbles under your ears to look like electrodes on Frankenstein so as to intimidate your opponent, who twice in recent weeks has been a vampire.

    But you have paid your dues. This Davis Cup experience of yours should be the signal to transform.

    "Take your game to the next level" is the cliche, but Sam, I'm telling you, you want to avoid cliches.

    "Gentle giant" is cliche, too. But "ferocious giant?" I don't think so.

    Sam-- please take this advice to heart.

    Become ferocious. BE MORE EVIL!" Evil sucks in world affairs but is cool in tennis. Scheme a bit and have more fun. Make a joke when you lose. Talk to the reporters in a different way. Have they burned you or something? I must admit, I missed any post Davis Cup interview. But in others you've sounded like Bernie Madoff. Be more forthcoming and expansive? Roger and Andre are the gold standard for handling the press in any sport.

    You do this and everybody'll come over to your side. Because you're a really good tennis player, and everybody knows that, even me by now.

    C'mon, no more Mr. Straight Arrow. It did have a certain charm, but now you're ready for sophistication. So rock em and sock em and become a fiend. "An evil mind is a perpetual feast," according to Aldous Huxley, who isn't even dead (not really).

    Do it with your eyes and your mouth and your play, man, not with thimbles.
    Last edited by bottle; 04-08-2013, 08:04 AM.

  • #2
    Other Bernie Madoff imitators:
    Murray: Mr. boring voice.
    Blake: Could make a living hypnotizing people with his monotonous tone. Blake speaks and this is what you hear: "I'm blah, blah, blahing, and he is blah, blah, blah.... Blah. (Your eyes are getting very heavy. You are going to sleep now.)

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