Pathological Losers: My Vic Braden Interview

[JeffMac]

The Forgotten Genius of Bill Scanlon

budge, and his ladies fair. Just wanted you all to know that I haven't forogtten about my promise to produce the Bill Scanlon Manifesto. But it's way to big to post. So now it's a full-length article that I shall submit to the editorial board in the customary fashion.

The working title is: The Forgotten Genius of Bill Scanlon. There are also two subtitles: 1) The Multiple Ways in Which Scanlon Was Better Than McEnroe and 2) The One Way in Which McEnroe Was Superior to Scanlon--and 99% of the Rest of the Pack. And Why.

I can only hope that you do not think it is in the "bottom third."

http://www.atpworldtour.com/en/playe...nroe/S017/M047

John McEnroe versus Bill Scanlon career head to head…9-3.

Scanlon's overall record…career 298-258. He played McEnroe tough. He had more motivation than vice versa.

http://www.atpworldtour.com/en/playe...x-atp-win-loss

[JeffMac]

Nobility or Stupidity?

budge...you continually wax romantico about the McEnroes, Borgs or Scanlons--or whoever--who were hesitant to go from wimpy little wood to bigger, powerful graphite in the 80's. This may be reflective of some sort of paean to someone's subjective sense of nobility and artistry. But, in my opinion, it has always been, and still seems to be a sign of mishuganance.

If wood was so precious to them, and graphite so aesthetically repulsive, they all should have quit in their mid-twenties like that other Faux Existentialist-your countryman Borg. (I remain unconvinced that this is why he quit, by the way. The guy has always had mental problems. Or call it burn-out, or whatever. Same thing).

Professional tennis is your job, your business. The goal is to win money! And make a living! That's job one. Anyone engaging in this endeavor owes it to himself and his family to do anything permitted by the rules in order to do just that.

I'm a writer. I make money doing it. From 1978 to 1983 I produced thirteen typewriter versions of a 175 page book--Two-Handed Tennis--to get it to publishable quality. That looks like torture to me now! Why would I want to go back and work on a typewriter again? It would cost me money!

That--to me--would be akin to these eighties players sticking with wood when everybody else was starting to blow them away with better equipment. Which is the reason that ninety-five percent (or more) of them were completely happy to make the change. They didn't need any prompting. Why? They were pragmatic businessmen. They prefered winning over losing. They exhibited common sense. They preferred financial solvency over relative poverty. They didn't permit themselves the self-indulgent luxury to go about flailing at windmills.

Duh!!

Now let's talk about Borg--and you. I haven't personally attacked you for three or four days and so I'm feeling eager and excited to get back on the horse. I beat my dog and still felt hollow and incomplete. So here goes. It's your turn now.

Do you recall my offer to work with you, through psychotherapy, in addressing your anomie, alienation, and depression? And yours, and Borg's, real problem--Recurrent Faux Existential Crisis. This malady goes by different names in different parts of the developed world. Sometimes we psychologists call it Recreational Existential Crisis. Or Hobbyist Recreational Existential Crisis. I've even hear it referred to as Rich Man's Existential Crisis.

We're talking mainly about the U.S. Northern Europe, Australia, and Japan. Mexicans don't have this syndrome. They don't have the time. They're too busy working for $2.50 an hour. They have to survive--first!! (Like smart, normal 80's tennis players).

Some intellectually inclined wealthy people--like you and Borg--revel in seeking mysery. It enables them to see themselves as deep, senstive and complex. They love this Idealized Image. It allows them to align themselves with actual noble poor, and intellectual people who have real reasons to be miserable. Mostly poverty. The Russian writers that you like so much are in this category.

It has a little bit in common with the old, classic identification of those in the industrialized nations with the "noble savage."

But let's be clear. This Hobby Existential Crisis Syndrome has nothing in common with the classic Early Twentieth Century Existentialism of Sartre, Beckett or Kiekegaard.

So cut it out already!! I can't have you sniveling, whining, moping or crying when we walk into that room for the Borg interview. He knows me because there are umpteen pictures of him in my first book. I can't have my reputation sullied through a guilt by association phenomenon.

O.K.? Thanks.

Let me know when you want to formalize our relationship. I have been your de facto therapist for some time now. But like the smart pratical people I extol here, I too need to make a living. So here's how this works. We continue to work daily through our computers. You need to deposit 1000 Kronerbobs in my PayPal account every week.

[don_budge]

John McEnroe and Peter McNamara…1982

Peter Fleming and John McEnroe versus Peter McNamara and Peter McNamee. The two Australians are using Prince racquets and the two Americans are using standard sized wood racquets in the 1982 Wimbledon men's doubles final. Look at match point and how futile it is to play at such a disadvantage. Roger Federer for years gave up approximately 10 square inches to his opponents. Imagine giving up 40 from traditional wood to the Prince…in doubles multiply that by two.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Oq47lcPh2I

In 1981 John McEnroe has switched racquets. He has left his beloved Wilson Pro Staff in favor of the ultra traditional Dunlop Maxply Fort. The rest of the tennis world is going oversized yet he takes a half step backwards, if anything, in switching to the Maxply which has the reputation of being the most difficult of racquets to play. The most difficult, that is, unless you are an absolute Maestro of the game. It's a magic wand as McEnroe says in his autobiography.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elK42cXMM48

Here at the 1982 Seiko Open in Japan it is none other than John McEnroe versus Peter McNamara in the finals. McEnroe using the specially custom made Dunlop Maxply Fort that he has switched to sometime after his 1980 Wimbledon Final against Bjorn Borg and McNamara is using a Prince 110 something or other…it may even be the "Woodie".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0d3SaeOBlM

You can see the difference in attitude from the fresh faced John McEnroe of 1978 in Maui and the annoyed and irritated John McEnroe of 1982. Something has changed.

The last all wood tennis racquet Wimbledon Final was the final of 1981. None other than the greatest tennis rivalry of the Open era…Bjorn Borg versus John McEnroe. McEnroe is using his newly designed Dunlop Maxply. Borg will lose this final to McEnroe and go on to retire shortly. He leaves the tour at the height of the racquet heist only to return years later with the same Donnay wooden tennis racquet in a futile, albeit mysterious comeback attempt. He comes back using the traditional wood racquet while the tennis world has moved on to oversized graphite. Was he making some kind of statement. McEnroe on the other hand has switched to an even more difficult racquet to play than his Wilson…he is going in the opposite direction of the tennis world.

The deep philosophic question is "why"? Is it because of some ultra deep faithfulness to the traditional game? I believe that this is the case and the proof is irrefutable.

McEnroe goes on to rule the "new" tennis world ever so briefly. In 1984 he has arguably one of the greatest years ever in professional tennis. Certainly it is the greatest of the Open era. 1984 was the year that the game completely transitioned from the traditional wooden racquet era to the modern graphite oversized. McEnroe never won a single Grand Slam title after that. The game had passed him by because of the style that he played. The new game took the artistic and subtle nuances that the McEnroe game was based on and took on a power emphasis. His nerves and his psyche were virtually at the breaking point and the strain was beginning to show. He unraveled right in the public eye which may have been particularly troublesome for such a shy and sensitive personality.

His outbursts usually were due to perceived cheating and incompetence on the part of officials. I know one thing…when he was playing against opponents that used oversized racquets against him and he was using traditional wood…he felt that he was being cheated in the most obvious way. Being the "professional" that he was…he was obligated to keep his mouth shut about the "fix" and he was paid a kings ransom to do so. He was like a Don Quixote figure…futilely waving his "magic wands" at the "windmill graphite monstrosities" of the future.

[don_budge]

McEnroe vs. Scanlon...

http://www.atpworldtour.com/en/players/fedex-head-2-head/bill-scanlon-vs-john-mcenroe/S017/M047

John McEnroe versus Bill Scanlon career head to head…9-3.

Scanlon's overall record…career 298-258. He played McEnroe tough. He had more motivation than vice versa.

http://www.atpworldtour.com/en/players/bill-scanlon/s017/fedex-atp-win-loss

[klacr]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_set

thank you.

Tine Scheuer-Larsen
Yaroslavl Shvedova
Julian Reister


The other ones listed were not officially sanctioned world tour events or fed/davis cup.

Kyle LaCroix USPTA
Boca Raton

[stotty]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_set

Thanks, lobndropshot.

[lobndropshot]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_set

[stotty]

Bill Scanlon won a golden set against Marcos Hocevar of Brazil in the first round of the WCT event in Delray Beach in 1983. Scanlon won the match, 6–2, 6–0. Pretty freakin' cool.

One of just four players to accomplish it at Pro level.

Kyle LaCroix USPTA
Boca Raton

And the other three are....?

[klacr]

Bill Scanlon won a golden set against Marcos Hocevar of Brazil in the first round of the WCT event in Delray Beach in 1983. Scanlon won the match, 6–2, 6–0. Pretty freakin' cool.

One of just four players to accomplish it at Pro level.

Kyle LaCroix USPTA
Boca Raton

[bottle]

Fate

I liked both of these interviews. Tennis player and other athlete interviews are predictably awful-- back then and now and forever-- so McEnroe and Scanlon here are remarkable exceptions.

As the result of the usual fare I have come to detest ballboys and ballgirls. They simply have been thanked too much. So let's put them in a rocket and send them to the Andromeda Galaxy, but eating them will be less expensive.

Now as to Trump: That last post of JeffMac is pretty great. (I loved the energy of it and therefore had to read it out loud. Try it, reader, I dare you.) But JeffMac brings up the pending presidency of Donald Trump, throws it in my face as it were.

But is Trump's election news? Of course he is going to win. Because his name is Trump. No other explanation is as good.

But who cares? The world had to end sometime, didn't it? We who still are alive will simply look for small amusements to pass the time-- which won't be long-- until the end of the Roman-- I mean American empire-- and with it the relegation of Earth...

Well, there won't be any historian around, but if there were, Doris Kearns Goodwin would write, "First there were Kochroaches. Then there were cockroaches."

[don_budge]

The Bill Scanlon Interview…Johnny Boy leaves the stadium

But I'll take Scanlon over McEnroe everyday of the week. The Texan had a very simple, clean, efficient game. It was orthodoxy vs. the unorthodox, quirky game of McEnroe.
[/I]

You can have him. Bill Scanlon was a really nice player and it's interesting to hear him in this interview with Bud Collins and John Newcombe. If you ask me…McEnroe stole the spotlight here. Even in defeat. Bill in this interview is revealing that the tour life is a tough life and he is struggling to come to grips with the ups and downs. He also reveals that he struggles with his forehand at times.

I haven't read Scanlon's book…just some excerpts. One thing that I did gloss from his book is an ambivalence about the racquet changes. Scanlon to his credit is a classic wood racquet player and a very, very good one. As far as his book goes…I understand that he takes some shots at McEnroe and it is understandable. John left himself open for criticism with his no backing down attitude. Sometimes it goes astray in the heat of the moment and some of it has to do with flaws and imperfections. It is interesting how closely his flaws are investigated and highlighted…it makes me thankful that some of my less "prouder" moments haven't made it to youtube. I am flawed and imperfect and therefore make allowances for my fellow human beings. To an extent. At the same time I am onboard with Donald Trump and John McEnroe…there are certainly a lot of morons out there. There are one or two on this forum…perhaps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvGNFwsZosM

The interview begins as John McEnroe exits the interview booth. He is holding what looks like five Wilson Pro Staff racquets. No overnight bags. When McEnroe leaves the air goes out of the balloon of the interview booth. While Bill Scanlon is a fine tennis player and the insights into his feeling and thoughts are interesting…he is far less compelling. But he goes on to write a book. In the book he criticizes John McEnroe from what I hear.

Here is the McEnroe vs. Scanlon head to head record. Scanlon gave McEnroe fits…at times. But on the other hand the record shows McEnroe was the winner in 9 of 12 matches. Could it be a bit of sour grapes on Scanlon's part. Scanlon is making and made a pretty good living off of a game that he was pretty much burned out on at the time of this interview. I wonder how much of his notoriety can be on account of McEnroe…directly or indirectly. Just because Scanlon wrote a book doesn't mean that he is the consensus of anything…including John McEnroe. He is biased too. Like everyone else.

Carry on JeffMac. Let's see what the next rabbit looks like that you pull out of your hat…or out of your ass.

[don_budge]

The Case of Bill Scanlon…first the John McEnroe interview

budge...for you to continually imply that human nature and/or the "system" is corrupt, evil, conflicted and mercenary is hardly front page news. It is redundant redux ad infinitum. As a fledgling, probing and accidental existentialist you might consider another "path." What about tennis instruction?

That book about the tennis anti-Christ does sound interesting. I will read it. Now let me ask you: Have you ever read that book penned by Texan Bill Scanlon about McEnroe? He takes it upon himself to voice the consensual opinion of the ATP community circa the 80's about the most objectionable and narcissistic player ever minted by the big fella upstairs.

[/I]

Bill Scanlon is an interesting name to bring up in this discussion. It is interesting in the context of a number of things that we (actually I) have been discussing. You are more interested in your playing with yourself style of writing. You call in satire…it appears to be masterbatory. Self pleasuring…completely narcissistic and going virtually nowhere. It's gonzo alright…whatever that means.

Scanlon was an excellent player from virtually the same era as McEnroe. He's two years older than "young" Johnny and much less successful as a tennis player overall…he once reached a ranking of number nine in the world. As an excellent all court player Scanlon had wins over Borg, McEnroe, Connors, Lendl and Becker. He too had some real ambivalence towards the equipment change that was nearing completion in 1983 when he upset John McEnroe at the U. S. Open when you graced Flushing Meadows with your presence. He talks a bit about it in his book. He talks about the equipment change…not about your being present at one of the biggest upsets in tennis history.

Funny that you should mention that book…I read some excerpts on line and contemplated buying the book. So far I have put it off…being somewhat of a selective reader. Scanlon has escaped being one of my literary heroes much as Vic Braden has escaped being included in my teaching paradigm. But that doesn't mean that I lack respect for either of these two meaningful individuals…it is only that I have so much time. It is the essential that I strive for…perhaps that makes me an "essentialist".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i23SDmUtOGE

Listen to Bud Collins and John Newcombe rake young Johnny over the coals about not attending a post match interview…then McEnroe shows up as both commentators pull their huge shoes out of their mouths and immediately start to backtrack. Newcombe is at a point in his career where he is trying to make his legacy even more "romantic".

Bud Collins reminds me of you Dolly Llama and The Church Lady. His condescending and parental well meaning criticism. Epic jerk.

At the 1978 Island Holidays Pro Tennis Classic in Maui, Bill Scanlon defeats John McEnroe 6-2, 3-6, 6-3. Here is a bit of the transcript where Bud Collins is "labelling" young Johnny which only makes him want to fulfil his "label" even more. This is a process that goes on for years. The press never lets up of course but McEnroe will never give in and will continue to push the envelope at every opportunity to the very end. To the very last point. Its in his DNA. It is what makes him who he is. He is no quitter and he is no loser. This isn't so hard to figure out but he makes a great target for the weaker and the jealous. Bill Scanlon fits neatly into this description.

Bud Collins..."I'm told we won't be talking to both players…that John McEnroe declined…he's a bit of a hot head…that surprises me. He's upset naturally but it's not a professional attitude. What do you think as former president of the Association of Tennis Professionals…are they not so supposed to attend interviews."

Newcombe laughing…"Well I think you have some sort of an obligation…if he is feeling very upset then I feel perhaps he may say something that he doesn't mean to…but he's won 14 straight matches and I am sure after every one of those matches he has only been too happy to go and talk to the press…

Bud Collins (interrupting)…"That's what I'm asking you John…is that a professional attitude to avoid the interview?

Newcombe…"I can only answer for myself that I felt I had an obligation win or lose that I had to go to the press…many times after you've won you are very happy to go and talk to the press when they are going to praise you and it is much harder to go before the press when you have had a loss..."

Bud Collins…"Well that's it and that is the professional outlook."

John Newcombe…"…except there have been two or three times when I was upset on losing matches…". (read "nobodies perfect…not even me")

Bud Collins…"Maybe you were upset with what you said…"

John Newcombe…"No, I said I would be there in half an hour. I gave myself half an hour to calm down." (he is perfect afterall)

Bud Collins…"Well anyways…we aren't going to take anything away from Johnny McEnroe…even though the we disapprove the way he spurns the interview. He's a tremendous young player and we are going to be seeing a lot more of him…his winning streak ends…and Billy Scanlon..." (Now he sees McEnroe entering the interview area and he gets a look on his face like he has eaten a huge plate of his own shit.)

John Newcombe…"Here's John now."

Bud Collins…(fake surprise…sheer embarrassment) "Ohhh! John McEnroe…come up here and hit me on the head will you. Johnny…I was just criticizing you…and I am glad to see you. Thank you John McEnroe…I just said that I thought you should arrive because that was the professional thing to do. We were told that you weren't coming and I was disappointed. Thank you for coming…I take it all back." (Bud sucking up hard and fast…backtracking from his backstabbing comments.)

John McEnroe (mumbling barely audible)…"Since I am a professional…"

Bud Collins (shit eating look on his face)…"Just what we were talking about…he said "since I am a professional I thought I had better be here."…and here he is."

Very interesting interview…not in the sense of Bud and Newk are asking poignant thoughtful questions…but interesting and fascinating in the articulate and honest responses that a very young and inexperienced McEnroe responds to a couple of two faced snipers. After a tough loss…after winning 14 matches in a row. He's a kid. It's the tenth week in a row…including Davis Cup in Chile…he is understandably tired and worn yet he is only talking about the necessity of the hard work that is needed to compete at the highest level.

The two commentatoes are poking negativity at his service motion…the two faced crows don't realize just how great this kid is destined to become. Just how great that service motion will become. A completely original concept in serving…invented by the young Amadeus of tennis…John McEnroe. john defends himself with some interesting spin and return…without malice. Awesome stuff. He's honest and shooting straight from the heart. He isn't perfect…he doesn't try to come off perfect. He isn't sucking up either. Not to Bud and not to Newk. He is just being himself…he is being a man about it. The same cannot be said of Bud Collins and to a lesser extent John Newcombe. They are stacking the deck. Trying to feel superior but they just can't summon the real thing. Another "Dolly Llama and The Church Lady" syndrome?

Quite possibly…from the "essential" view point of don_budge.

[klacr]

Boone's Farm bottle--Still pimping for those unrepentant Jacobites, I see. The only "Bern" you're gonna feel is the one when Trump smokes those felons in November. It's tough to run for president when you're in the hooskow.

Now, let's examine the political genius of Donald Trump a.k.a "The Great White Hope." Or acronymically as George W. Bush would say, GWH.

Here is a guy who is a beginner--much like budge's entire Ladies Aide Society. You know who you are. First there's the Watcher whose user name on every website is vaselineking.

Then there's Stotty who speaks to us reverentially of "Wembly." Four times a day he sneaks into the backroom of his pro shop and prays to porceline statues of Fred Perry, Andy Murray and John Lennon.

And then there's you bottle. We are sorry that you had to retire to that little Appalachian hamlet where the famous Bill Scanlon Tennis Club was forced to close. The anti-McEnroe picked up his toys without screaming or yelling, and headed on back to Dallas when his weekly lesson schedule had plummeted to nine hours.

By the way Ladies, I will soon inaugurate a interminable series of posts that you will hate explaining why Bill Scanlon is a far better model for an aspiring tennis player, or an aspiring coach to emulate--which brings us squarely to...

Kyle "Boom-Boom" La QWA as we say in le Francais, who is secretly pondering an NFL career if the tennis thing doesn't work out. You know, over the dozens of days I spent worshipping, prostrating and salivating at the thrown of The Great One whose birthday we still celebrate every May, he never once mentioned your name to me. What's up with that? Are you sure it was The Great One you taxied around. Maybe it was Tim Heckler. They look so much alike that they were often confused for one another.

That reminds me...of the last time I saw The Great One, which was in 2010. He had offered to take me out to lunch at the site of his former tennis academy in Coto De Caza in order to commemorate my forthcoming retirement. I walk in to a Denny's type of set-up, he's sitting there waiting for me because I had gotten lost, and was late. He stands up slowly and with great effort. I stick out my hand to shake with the secret handshake that only the tennis shadow government and Illuminati know.

He had a funky, blood and ooze soiled patch over his left eye. I say, "Hi, Great One, how are you?" He replied, "I'm blind in my left eye." Not knowing quite what to say to that, I politely probed. "Oh well..." I stammered awkwardly, "I guess you mean that you can't see much today." "No," he continued, "I'm never going to be able to see out of my left eye again. I just had surgery and..." He left that sentence hanging. I lower my voice and say in my holiest tone, "Geez, I'm really sorry." He looks at me for a very long moment out of his one good eye before stating affirmatively, "You can't win 'em all."

Shortly thereafter he informed me that he was going to drive all the way into the Santa Anna ghetto to teach little black kids reading, writn' and rithmetic, driving on the freeway with one eye. I offered to drive him. I say,
Can I take you there?" He says, "No, I can handle it myself. And besides you're no Carl." Was that a reference to you, Kyle?

Now bottle...you may or may not have gone to graduate school at the Hollins State University (I'm checking on this!), but on that day in October of 2010 I took a crash seminar on humility and perseverance. And yes, the lesson only effected me for a couple of days before I regressed to my personal mean of being a self-centered, self-serving tennis business functionary, a mere two weeks from hobbling off of center court for the last time--myself. And I do mean the last time. I have not hit a tennis ball since. Like Vic said, "You can't win 'em all," which I believe is an old Leo Durocher sport psychology lesson.

Adam Smith--my direct Scottish forebear on my Dad's side--said that the Wealth of Nations lies in its "ingenuity," and subsequent "productivity." I would contend--as does the GWH--that the Wealth of Nations is also inextricably associated with the "Health of Nations." For how can a nation be fruitful if people are ill because they do not have available health care?

GWH will win because he has something for everyone. This is just a part of his native political savantship. For example, he advocates the classic Trotskyite position favoring Universal Health Care. Unreconstructed hippies love it! They can't wait to vote for him

So, today in U.S. history GWH will roll to another huge victory in Nevada, bringing him ineluctably closer to the hallowed confines of the Oval Office.

In forthcoming posts, in addition to the Scanlon Manifesto, I will continue to enumerate the ways in which GWH truly is The Second Coming of fellow New Yorker Teddy Roosevelt. I believe that when I have fully explicated Trumpism, even you bottle will be lining up in the cold Appalachian autumn wind, snow and sleet in order to cast your vote for the GWH.

By the way, I am taking any and all bets of any amount that the GWH wins in November against a weak and severely compromised opponent. Any takers ladies? No, because suddenly you're not so sure anymore, are you?

Cheers!

I met Mr. Braden and drove him in 2003. You met him at a convention in 1993. He didn't know me back then. No career in the NFL for me, I think this tennis thing is working out just fine.
Confident it wasn't Tim Heckler. There's a "big" difference.

Kyle LaCroix USPTA
Boca Raton

[JeffMac]

This Glorious Day in U.S History

Boone's Farm bottle--Still pimping for those unrepentant Jacobites, I see. The only "Bern" you're gonna feel is the one when Trump smokes those felons in November. It's tough to run for president when you're in the hooskow.

Now, let's examine the political genius of Donald Trump a.k.a "The Great White Hope." Or acronymically as George W. Bush would say, GWH.

Here is a guy who is a beginner--much like budge's entire Ladies Aide Society. You know who you are. First there's the Watcher whose user name on every website is vaselineking.

Then there's Stotty who speaks to us reverentially of "Wembly." Four times a day he sneaks into the backroom of his pro shop and prays to porceline statues of Fred Perry, Andy Murray and John Lennon.

And then there's you bottle. We are sorry that you had to retire to that little Appalachian hamlet where the famous Bill Scanlon Tennis Club was forced to close. The anti-McEnroe picked up his toys without screaming or yelling, and headed on back to Dallas when his weekly lesson schedule had plummeted to nine hours.

By the way Ladies, I will soon inaugurate a interminable series of posts that you will hate explaining why Bill Scanlon is a far better model for an aspiring tennis player, or an aspiring coach to emulate--which brings us squarely to...

Kyle "Boom-Boom" La QWA as we say in le Francais, who is secretly pondering an NFL career if the tennis thing doesn't work out. You know, over the dozens of days I spent worshipping, prostrating and salivating at the thrown of The Great One whose birthday we still celebrate every May, he never once mentioned your name to me. What's up with that? Are you sure it was The Great One you taxied around. Maybe it was Tim Heckler. They look so much alike that they were often confused for one another.

That reminds me...of the last time I saw The Great One, which was in 2010. He had offered to take me out to lunch at the site of his former tennis academy in Coto De Caza in order to commemorate my forthcoming retirement. I walk in to a Denny's type of set-up, he's sitting there waiting for me because I had gotten lost, and was late. He stands up slowly and with great effort. I stick out my hand to shake with the secret handshake that only the tennis shadow government and Illuminati know.

He had a funky, blood and ooze soiled patch over his left eye. I say, "Hi, Great One, how are you?" He replied, "I'm blind in my left eye." Not knowing quite what to say to that, I politely probed. "Oh well..." I stammered awkwardly, "I guess you mean that you can't see much today." "No," he continued, "I'm never going to be able to see out of my left eye again. I just had surgery and..." He left that sentence hanging. I lower my voice and say in my holiest tone, "Geez, I'm really sorry." He looks at me for a very long moment out of his one good eye before stating affirmatively, "You can't win 'em all."

Shortly thereafter he informed me that he was going to drive all the way into the Santa Anna ghetto to teach little black kids reading, writn' and rithmetic, driving on the freeway with one eye. I offered to drive him. I say,
Can I take you there?" He says, "No, I can handle it myself. And besides you're no Carl." Was that a reference to you, Kyle?

Now bottle...you may or may not have gone to graduate school at the Hollins State University (I'm checking on this!), but on that day in October of 2010 I took a crash seminar on humility and perseverance. And yes, the lesson only effected me for a couple of days before I regressed to my personal mean of being a self-centered, self-serving tennis business functionary, a mere two weeks from hobbling off of center court for the last time--myself. And I do mean the last time. I have not hit a tennis ball since. Like Vic said, "You can't win 'em all," which I believe is an old Leo Durocher sport psychology lesson.

Adam Smith--my direct Scottish forebear on my Dad's side--said that the Wealth of Nations lies in its "ingenuity," and subsequent "productivity." I would contend--as does the GWH--that the Wealth of Nations is also inextricably associated with the "Health of Nations." For how can a nation be fruitful if people are ill because they do not have available health care?

GWH will win because he has something for everyone. This is just a part of his native political savantship. For example, he advocates the classic Trotskyite position favoring Universal Health Care. Unreconstructed hippies love it! They can't wait to vote for him

So, today in U.S. history GWH will roll to another huge victory in Nevada, bringing him ineluctably closer to the hallowed confines of the Oval Office.

In forthcoming posts, in addition to the Scanlon Manifesto, I will continue to enumerate the ways in which GWH truly is The Second Coming of fellow New Yorker Teddy Roosevelt. I believe that when I have fully explicated Trumpism, even you bottle will be lining up in the cold Appalachian autumn wind, snow and sleet in order to cast your vote for the GWH.

By the way, I am taking any and all bets of any amount that the GWH wins in November against a weak and severely compromised opponent. Any takers ladies? No, because suddenly you're not so sure anymore, are you?

Cheers!

My graduate school mentor at Hollins College now Hollins University, William Golding, espoused "an individual approach and a refusal to go along with the crowd." That belief or faith seems to have later led him to a Nobel Prize.

He was a philosopher however, a man who almost by definition can think his way out of a paper bag.

"I have a gal...in Kalamazoo" and some stupid person who randomly shoots people in Kalamazoo are hardly the same.

The thinker may solve how to extract the gal he met at a campus dance in Kalamazoo from Kalamazoo, while the shooter who can't fathom anything lashes out like Donald Trump although I do give Trump credit for the expression "stupid person."

But Trump is the guy who thinks he's special. Profoundly ordinary if you ask me.

There once was a man named Trump
Whose mind was a toxic stew
He strained all day
To screw to the view
Of America as a Hump.

[bottle]

The Real Piparoo in Kalamazoo

My graduate school mentor at Hollins College now Hollins University, William Golding, espoused "an individual approach and a refusal to go along with the crowd." That belief or faith seems to have later led him to a Nobel Prize.

He was a philosopher however, a man who almost by definition can think his way out of a paper bag.

"I have a gal...in Kalamazoo" and some stupid person who randomly shoots people in Kalamazoo are hardly the same.

The thinker may solve how to extract the gal he met at a campus dance in Kalamazoo from Kalamazoo, while the shooter who can't fathom anything lashes out like Donald Trump although I do give Trump credit for the expression "stupid person."

But Trump is the guy who thinks he's special. Profoundly ordinary if you ask me.

There once was a man named Trump
Whose mind was a toxic stew
He strained all day
To screw to the view
Of America as a Hump.