Pathological Losers: My Vic Braden Interview

[bottle]

Agreed.

[JeffMac]

Two-Hands?

Thanks you that explanation. If I was still a tennis coach I would endeavor to work "furniture nine" into my verbal repetoire. I know this is off-topic but, I would like to see Jeb go two hands on both sides. What do you think?

I am so glad he crashed and burned--wasting 150 million! That's entertainment. This guy is so pathetic. Talk about trying to "ride coat tails." But, why? His brother altered the entire world order in a disastrous way. No dynastic politics! No more Clntons. No more Bush's--PLEASE!

And so, say, you have discovered a rare article on John McEnroe's forehand backswing in which there are five repeating videos and ten still photos-- you can add them up to 15 .

But the only video you wish to discuss is the third one. But there are three photos right there in the vicinity placed judiciously all around the video for emphasis, and you don't want to use many words in addressing this topic since it relates to your own emerging game and you want to keep your mind clear.

Also, being a sensitive person, you are aware of the difficulty tennis players are going to have in relating to such technical work.

Let's take the Bush family, all into tennis and characterized by their short attention spans. Jeb and his brother are the worst. Jeb thinks everything he hears is "blah-blah-blah."

The solution is simple. We use the expression "furniture nine." Now Jeb can go directly to the third video without wasting his low energy or time.

Jeb is a busy businessman in the midst of an important job search. But if he goes directly to the simplified backswing of furniture nine and studies the photos around it he can vastly improve his game.

Walk a little plainer, Daddy,
Said a little boy so frail.
I'm following in your footsteps,
And I don't want to fail.

[JeffMac]

How About...

...the Zen of finger pointing...which is your way of reminding us once again that you lack the Zen of a sense of humor. You read the Infinite Jest though didn't you? oh Zen master.

There is no zen. There is no gonzo. These are fingers pointing.

[TheWatcher]

There is no zen. There is no gonzo. These are fingers pointing.

[JeffMac]

The Hills!

I must walk deep into the Hills to contemplate the Zen of Gonzo before taking a position on the Palace Revolt taking place on Iceberg Nine. I shall also take counsel with the recently reemergent vasolineking...who knows not of Wallace...George or otherwise. I overestimated the sagacity of the Beavus and Butthead Maven--much to my chagrin--as he now revels in making me seem delusional.

And so, say, you have discovered a rare article on John McEnroe's forehand backswing in which there are five repeating videos and ten still photos-- you can add them up to 15 .

But the only video you wish to discuss is the third one. But there are three photos right there in the vicinity placed judiciously all around the video for emphasis, and you don't want to use many words in addressing this topic since it relates to your own emerging game and you want to keep your mind clear.

Also, being a sensitive person, you are aware of the difficulty tennis players are going to have in relating to such technical work.

Let's take the Bush family, all into tennis and characterized by their short attention spans. Jeb and his brother are the worst. Jeb thinks everything he hears is "blah-blah-blah."

The solution is simple. We use the expression "furniture nine." Now Jeb can go directly to the third video without wasting his low energy or time.

Jeb is a busy businessman in the midst of an important job search. But if he goes directly to the simplified backswing of furniture nine and studies the photos around it he can vastly improve his game.

Walk a little plainer, Daddy,
Said a little boy so frail.
I'm following in your footsteps,
And I don't want to fail.

[JeffMac]

The Zen of Gonzo!

I knew that you would heed my call to arms oh wack-a-mole. I was wondering if you would be willing to write the forward to my next gonzo tennis book: The Zen of Gonzo. Perhaps you could collaborate with budge? I assume that would pleaseth botheth of youeth. A synthesis of these two literay styles might be Pulitzer material. And drive me out of business..forever.

I was sure that you would of known of Wallace...but No!

And so endless noise and wind continues. Yet it lifts the spirits of the perpetrators.

[JeffMac]

Royalties...

I assume that you would appreciate royalties--for the "rental" of your furniture. I cannot afford much, but since we are now best buds, I would expect at least a small "discount." Which reminds me, what have you heard from budge? Last I knew he had taken Mc and Borg to an undisclosed cave beneath his mansion from whence they can suffer en masse. This cave, by the the way, is in the "lower third" of all Swedish caves frequented by Existential Hobbyists.

Perhaps there are different pouches in the magazine publishing world, but "furniture," in the pouch from which I eventually made a clean escape, meant any photograph or drawing or video or anything that wasn't the text. I find it an extremely convenient term that I shall never abandon whether under duress or not, and I wouldn't mind if you used it too.

[bottle]

A Reply

Perhaps there are different pouches in the magazine publishing world, but "furniture," in the pouch from which I eventually made a clean escape, meant any photograph or drawing or video or anything that wasn't the text. I find it an extremely convenient term that I shall never abandon whether under duress or not, and I wouldn't mind if you used it too.

And so, say, you have discovered a rare article on John McEnroe's forehand backswing in which there are five repeating videos and ten still photos-- you can add them up to 15 .

But the only video you wish to discuss is the third one. But there are three photos right there in the vicinity placed judiciously all around the video for emphasis, and you don't want to use many words in addressing this topic since it relates to your own emerging game and you want to keep your mind clear.

Also, being a sensitive person, you are aware of the difficulty tennis players are going to have in relating to such technical work.

Let's take the Bush family, all into tennis and characterized by their short attention spans. Jeb and his brother are the worst. Jeb thinks everything he hears is "blah-blah-blah."

The solution is simple. We use the expression "furniture nine." Now Jeb can go directly to the third video without wasting his low energy or time.

Jeb is a busy businessman in the midst of an important job search. But if he goes directly to the simplified backswing of furniture nine and studies the photos around it he can vastly improve his game.

Walk a little plainer, Daddy,
Said a little boy so frail.
I'm following in your footsteps,
And I don't want to fail.

[TheWatcher]

And so endless noise and wind continues. Yet it lifts the spirits of the perpetrators.

[bottle]

You lost me at furnitures, but would like to know what you mean. I thought I'd heard every term in the bio-mechanical Universe. But perhaps not.

Perhaps there are different pouches in the magazine publishing world, but "furniture," in the pouch from which I eventually made a clean escape, meant any photograph or drawing or video or anything that wasn't the text. I find it an extremely convenient term that I shall never abandon whether under duress or not, and I wouldn't mind if you used it too.

[JeffMac]

Don't Tell budge O.K.?

Thanks for your kind words about THT. I'll tell you a secret: I have not been able to read the book post publication. I started to read it once or twice through the years, but I thought it was so poorly written I had to put it down.

Every few years I open it up randomly to any old page. I read a few pages, and then have to set it down. I don't mean to seem oppositional, or unappreciative but it seemed like it as written by a grade schooler.

I own the copyright again and will be doing an updated, (non-gonzo) version, which I guarantee will be twice as good. "Practice makes better."

I know you are a British tennis enthusiast and historian. So, I'd like to tell you a special story. You have respect for your elders too because you have not chosen to go to your "happy place" by attacking this sick, poor, old man--like some others. They shall not be identified by this reporter as we seem to have stumbled onto a perhaps ephemeral detente. You know how a certain someone gets when someone has more fun than him. He gets placed on "suicide watch."

I have been to Wimbledon twice. The first was in the winter of '84. I took my THT $ and headed to Europe. Happened in to Wimbledon on a cold, wet November night. It was about 8:00 P.M. I walk up to a big gate. It was open. I doubt if it's open anymore at that time of the year, and at that hour. I stand there looking around, unsure of what the protocol is in such instnces.

I can't see anyone inside. So I step in and start walking. Shortly I see Center Court on my right. A worker sees me and says, "You can't go in."

I told him, "I had come from very far away, couldn't I go in for just a minute?"

"O.K. Just for a moment because we're are closing." We walk in together, I stand there for fifteen seconds in silence, just taking it all in. There is no one else inside. I move forward and sit down. There were no lights on and the darkness is enhanced by the dark green decor. The groundsman stood behind me for a couple of minutes, and then moved on out. It was eery and thrilling to be in their all alone. I felt special and inspired. I thought of all the amazing things that had transpired in the hall. A sat there for several minutes before standing up and moving on out. I felt deeply respectful of the game of professional tennis. It is something I'll never forget.

I like the book Two-Handed Tennis. I am working my way through again as I haven't read it for many years. The book is well-written. It's also well structured and well laid out.

The beginning of the book in some respects is amazing when set against the background of tennis today. Back then the two-handed backhand was a rarity whereas these days the situation is reversed, the one-hander is the rarity. Back then Jeff was in a minority trying to sell the two-handed backhand as a credible stroke, these days only a minority advocate the one-hander. Weird, isn't it, how things can go full cycle? I am looking forward to reading the rest of the book again.

Match Play and Spin The Ball is a masterpiece. So many things are as relevant as ever in that book. Tilden even discovered the concept of the "heavy ball" decades before anyone.

It's a shame Frank Deford's book on Bill Tilden wasn't better written. Many tout it as a great book when actually it isn't. It's so poorly structured and hard to read. I read it to discover more about Tilden but the book was a drag and could have been done so much better. Deford had so much content to work with.

I like the book Two-Handed Tennis. I am working my way through again as I haven't read it for many years. The book is well-written. It's also well structured and well laid out.

The beginning of the book in some respects is amazing when set against the background of tennis today. Back then the two-handed backhand was a rarity whereas these days the situation is reversed, the one-hander is the rarity. Back then Jeff was in a minority trying to sell the two-handed backhand as a credible stroke, these days only a minority advocate the one-hander. Weird, isn't it, how things can go full cycle? I am looking forward to reading the rest of the book again.

Match Play and Spin The Ball is a masterpiece. So many things are as relevant as ever in that book. Tilden even discovered the concept of the "heavy ball" decades before anyone.

It's a shame Frank Deford's book on Bill Tilden wasn't better written. Many tout it as a great book when actually it isn't. It's so poorly structured and hard to read. I read it to discover more about Tilden but the book was a drag and could have been done so much better. Deford had so much content to work with.

[tennis_chiro]

Speaking of budge, I assume that the "don" to which you refer is the aforementioned budge. Is that so?

No. It's me, don brosseau, aka tennis_chiro. I sign all my posts

don

[JeffMac]

We Have a Winner!!

I knew you would be the one to come through! You have accurately identified the man known in 1979--out in the "desert"--as "disco Joe." Or Joe Higueras. Talk about "dancing feet." And no. We were not dancing together! Stop it bottle!

And as the winner that means, of course, that you have won the vacation to Az. Do you have a dog? Would you like to go to the dog park? A tour of Scottsdale dog parks? That's my idea of excitement these days. I sold my disco shoes on CL.

The adventure of Joe and some of his compatriots is being chronicled for future generations of tennisplayer.net readers. The working title is: The Phoney Cannabis Brothers Do Indian Wells. This story is about two white guys who like hard court tennis, night life and have a strange fascination with a psychololgical malady known as Cheech and Chong Complex.

I will try to be a "more Gonzo journalist" going forward. We all have our good days and bad. [/I] It is nice to find another Braden Cultist. budge is the sole hold-out.

I found Laver to be much more amiable than Ashe. What did you think?

Speaking of budge, I assume that the "don" to which you refer is the aforementioned budge. Is that so?

Careful there. I can't afford to lose any more points, IQ or otherwise. Perhaps a more Gonzo journalist would have mentioned that the Spaniard married the mayor's daughter before he took his place of supremacy in the desert.

don
PS Practiced with Ashe and Laver in 1971 and was hired by Braden to run a program for him in 1970. Unfortunately, never spent much time with him, but I got to start every lesson in his program running one of his films in the initial 20 minute classroom part of every group lesson. I escaped the US for Germany in 1973, but his films were in place in that program too!

[JeffMac]

A Hard Bargain!

J.Y.--I called Oscar today at the Celebrity Center to float the idea of the Scientology Tennis Center. Tom Cruise answered, of course, and I was placed on hold as they searched high and low for the great Wegner. The man who can teach someone to play in forty-five minutes, I think it is?

He was "not in his rooms." I was informed that he now occupies the bell tower at the top of the great edifice with the Hunchback of Notre Dame. But that is not the biggest news. He has been anointed as the Grand Dragon by the illegitimate children of L. Ron Hubbard.

But Oscar is not content with just money and power. He insists on being Deified--granted the title of Dear Leader--the living embodiment of the founder himself.

They finally found him on his yacht out in Santa Monica Harbor fishing with John Travolta and Eric Clapton. No! Just kidding everyone. Clapton is not a Scientologist. But he is "God," according to many iterations of urban graffiti. "Slow hand" was just "testing the water," so to speak.

We talked for about five hours trying to hammer out the details for the Academy. Oscar is wanting more than I am willing to give up. He is driving a hard bargain. I demurred, of course.

Travolta is all fished out, out of patience, and wants to go to a massage parlor in Inglewood. So we had to cut the conversation short. But, we agreed to talk again tomorrow after his spa treatment, and his lesson with the Williams sisters. The reports are true. They are "back in the fold."

Question: Does anyone know about, or remember the "rooms" at the tennis academy in the Infinite Jest? I would be willing to bet major bank that Watcher does. So Watcher, this is your invitation to reappear from the Zendo.

Mac,

I had a nightmare about that academy. The players were locked into their rooms until they could recite the entire text of Dianetics from memory.

A general rule would be when a woman mentions her affiliation with Scientology get up from the table and run. Don't even pay the tab because undoubtedly you will be traced.

[JeffMac]

Your Sentence Has Been..

...commuted even though I pissed my pants eight times waiting for you to get back to me. As promised, I said I would not eat, sleep or go the the bathroom until I heard back from you. I eventually fell asleep at the dining room table, with an empty stomach and in a puddle of urine. I have now ended my hunger and bathroom strike, and am writing this in my sleep. I took Ambien and have been sleep walking for hours--and know not what I do!

And you are also forgiven because I have a very soft spot in my heart for anyone who celebrates Stephen Hawking. He should be required reading to become a member of the human race. And there is "peace in the valley tonight."

All Good. No cheap shot intended. Yes, please have my posting privileges taken away for 24 hours. I've been a very bad boy.

Kyle LaCroix USPTA
Boca Raton